A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Baby Gift Basket Ideas

Baby Gift Basket Ideas Planning to host a baby shower? Or a friend of yours recently gave birth to a healthy bouncing baby? How else could you express that you care for that friend of yours and her baby? A baby gift basket could be the best present that would express your concern. A baby gift basket is one of those themed gift baskets that are presented containing items that are of value to the recipient. Oftentimes these baby gift baskets contain the following items that will surely give delight to the new parents and to the new addition. You could make use of this information to create or stuff your own baby gift basket that will rid you of those more expensive commercialized kinds. Nursery room items. These include colorful mobiles to keep the baby busy, lullaby music to soothe the infant, and nursery rhymes CD's. Bigger items like layettes, changing mats for tables and cribs, and other furniture for the baby may be found in de luxe baby gift baskets. Educational toys are...
Read more

Divorce

A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce."The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph.She then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he's a better lover than you."Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as he clenches his hands on the wheels.She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph.She says, "I want the kids too." The husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, until he's up to 80 mph.She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit cards too." The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"The husband says, "No, I...
Read more

MENTAR HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Image
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu: If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696. If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self-este...
Read more