A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her
daughter walks in.
“Mother, where do babies come from?”
The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and
Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their
bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.”
The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the
daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby,
honey.” The child seems to comprehend.
“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had
daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”
“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
MENTAR HOSPITAL PHONE MENU
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu: If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696. If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self-este...
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